Well I don't know how awesome your Medium Bio is, but this gotta be a close second. If you want profile wanderers to worry about your sanity, that is.

Which is precisely the effect I aim for.

As for payment, let me check my pockets—oh yes, I have a blood-stained topper hat, a cartoonish fake mustache, and a folded "Get out of jail, free" card. Information related to where did I get these items or which archenemy of mine I had to kill to get them, is entirely confidential. (Deal?).

But anyway. I am confident that your lmaos don't need any packaging. Just blow them like dandelions; if they manage to avoid the chimeras, they'll find their way to me.