Sexism Women Don’t Talk About: When Men Take Drugs to Keep Their Jobs

This is what happens when men are objectified. Honestly, I’d rather be catcalled.

Photo by Altin Ferreira on Unsplash (modified by author)

My fellow men, you can now forget about all the diamond smuggling and crypto investing opportunities you’ve received in your spam inbox and pay attention to this: there is a job opportunity out there that can turn your recreational drug use into a 7-figure career — no experience nor LinkedIn Premium subscription required.

And no, I’m not talking about part-timing as a member of Seth Rogen’s entourage until you get featured in one of his stoner movies.

There is a catch though.

You are required to have been born with an award-winning genetic makeup qualified for the “Shag-Worthy, Moist-Summoning, Fireball-Hot Cuntquistador Papito” level of the male beauty scale.

Which is rather high.

And that’s only half the bother. Once you achieve hot dude, you will have to grow some muscle and lift that natural charm of yours up to magazine cover standards.

Such a perilous journey will demand you to hit the field — and by field I mean the field of chemistry: testosterone, human growth hormone, and all the other performance-enhancing drugs…