Props to Medium Curation for Making Sure the Shitposts in My Feed Are Safe From Swear Words
Kinda bored of having to slap an asterisk every time I give a f*ck about something.

Am I the only one around worn-out by this bullsh%itting f$ckery of a c$cks%cking shšt parade of censorship?
Who are we protecting here?
Please donāt tell me the nut allergy kids swell from reading swear words tooā Iām having 67% of my personality muted here.
If someone gets shellshocked by swear words, why are they here?
In the open field, I mean? Risking their vulnerable psyches?
They should lock the door and restrict themselves to consuming clean comedy material from clean comedians.
Like Bill Cosbyās routines for example.
Donāt worry if they google him. If we can write ārapeā and ādruggedā in here, Iām sure theyāll be safe.
Iām not just trying to be edgy here
Iām not a Mad Magazine writer. Iām just a guy that wants his words back.
This is purely strategic: a well-positioned āfuckā can give a sentence a special strength that I, as a writer, canāt convey in any other way.
I could pull my dick out and slam it against the wall to project some gravity into my argument, but Iām sure most readers would be thousands of miles away from the subway car where I usually do that.
The quake from the impact would never reach them.
Besides, you love pain, Medium!
Donāt you?
The MWC was so depressing you had to plug a suicide prevention line at the end to show you care for the wellbeing of the US citizens that could exclusively call that line.
Well, swear words are therapeutical, you know? Hereās a research link. Hereās another. And another one. I didnāt even read them. But it makes this paragraph look like it knows what itās talking about.
So I donāt get why you donāt distribute a raw, brave, honest piece that someone wrote to process a harrowing memory just because it has one too many āfucksā in it.
I donāt get it. If a guy rapes me, I can write in vivid detail about it and even qualify for a prize, but I canāt call him a limp-dicked, cocksucking dipshit?
I rather go to therapy than pimp my traumas for pennies.
Like Japanese porn blurring out the dick
Same energy.
We all know whatās behind the ā*ā in āf*ckā. Weāre all adults here. All the kids are up at TikTok, beating their meat to Charli DāAmelio until an adult hacks into the next OnlyFans account.
And please, donāt tell me itās to ensure a piece āmeets a high editorial standard.ā We all know your algorithm would whore itself to any half-witted barf of a listicle with enough click-through rate to bait new subscriber money.
No offence, guys.
You know, after 2 years, Iām starting to dig the āHow I Made $0.47 on Mediumā stories. Hope you all get the 100 too. Iām rooting for ya!
I donāt think I ask for much
Despite its problems, I think Medium has a heart.
I still believe you guys will fix the UI, the algorithm, and the embarrassing shitfest of Error 404s that makes me think Mediumās servers are running on my hamster's wheel.
Who died 15 years ago.
But itās okay; I can get over the technical frivolities. Mere trifles of trouble that only coders and engineers should care about.
Iām a writer. Hence I care about my words and my profanity ā which, I swear to fucking god, itās needed for effect.
But anyway. Iām assuming Iām not the only paranoid dilettante shipping stinkers and blaming it on the fucks and shits and titties. If swear words had nothing to do with this, Iāll show myself to the door.
This trash post has been sponsored by Smillew Rahcuef. Free of charge, since I rickrolled him yesterday and I presume he needs the self-esteem boost. Hereās a piece of him thatās likely to have lost all traction by now. Letās revive it:
Iām still yet to receive an email from Nord VPN wanting to do a collab with me, so the second sponsor of this piece had to be moi:
Enjoy, subscribe, and donāt forget to call your momma once in a while.