Of course I found you. In fact, I think there really isn't any secrecy regarding myths and legends—they just don't have their social media accounts properly set. I imagine a frustrated Gilgamesh still carving his poems in granodiorite stela, oblivious that Twitter would increase his exposure.

Speaking of origin stories: so you're from Birmingham (I know what you guys meant with the second part of the name, but what's a birming exactly?). You know, I swiftly visited your town early this year, right before the world-ending pandemic became mainstream (#flawlesstiming). Since we only had a couple of hours there, I gazed upon the horizon looking for the weirdest looking building—my expectations were met.

So we went to this organically-shaped building covered in silvery, circular scales, which made me think about what cities would look like if we could put natural selection in charge of edifice building. That mall of yours (I think it was some kind of mall) was without a doubt the armadillo of the architectural fauna.

Unless that building was not in Birmingham. In that case:

Bollocks.

(Guess where did I go to finish this).