First of all, does the beginning of that response really say that you start the day with a *kale smoothie*?

Why should I believe anything that comes after such an audacious lie?

As for what comes before—I already have 273 Chrome tabs in my quest to find the best Peter Pan Syndrome™ vial at the best price. There are a couple of them advertising themselves as "green" and "friendly" but let's be honest here: it doesn't matter how ecological you are if you *must* use children to manufacture your product.

But anyway. About my thugs. I intentionally had each of them undergo a thorough selection process—involving different stages; some of which included live audiences and a panel of celebrity judges—to ensure that they only drank black coffee and red wine so you couldn't charm them with your teabag allure and your whistling-kettle hospitality.

P.S Oh here we go.