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Deciding Not To Have Kids Confirms Everything That’s Wrong With Modern Society
The world’s population reached 8 billion. At the same time, we are running out of babies.
So the world’s human headcount has officially reached 8 billion people. Three hip hip hoorays for us all, for we are too many to issue participation trophies for everyone.
But also, you know what this means
Al Gore is gonna wake up in a sweat and threaten to release another audiobook unless we start taking the effects of overpopulation seriously. And it seems that 2 billion ago, Earth was already beeping like an elevator suffering from exceeded weight capacity — which might prompt some of you to go make an impulse buy at a vasectomy clinic, but trust me: these are rookie numbers.
8 billion people don’t even begin to cover the amount of genital redundancy we’re gonna need if it turns out that smartphone radiation really was overcooking our baby makers after all, putting us on a tight ticking clock to find a vegan alternative.
I mean, fertility rates have been going down for 50 years; women are having half as many children, and some are so focused on their careers they might as well repurpose their wombs into walk-in closets.
